William Jefferson "Billy" Goat

a.k.a.

Leonardo di Caprino

Billy is a well-bred ruminant out of "Elvis" and "Hedda of the Speckled Teats." A mature African pygmy, he is calm and polite, has a philosophical disposition, and generally likes any vegetative matter put before him for his delectation. A legendary nannies’ goat, he has sired many goatlets, and he smells like a real goat—not like some members of those effete breeds that I could perhaps name, but won’t.